Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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