Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
