scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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