That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
