Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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