on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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