One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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