Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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