Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
