We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
