she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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