maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
