Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
