Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
