She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
