put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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