Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
