well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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