I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
