I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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