I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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