I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
