The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it glows. i had to have it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
