Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
