so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
