would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He did a backflip because drugs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
