hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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