I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
