I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
