Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
