he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
