I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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