we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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