I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
