just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I did not marry a roomba.
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