pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
