I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
