let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
