So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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