Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
