Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
