yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
