it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
