My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
