Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just google imaged poop.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
