I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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