Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
