he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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