I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
