Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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